It’s that time of year… the holidays.
The crazy season.
A virtual shit show of strange, unexpected, and downright unbelievable moments.
I’ve had to navigate some really interesting people lately — and by interesting, I mean the kind of humans who make you wonder how they function outside their own home.
Let me start with this: Returns are normal.
We’ve all done it. Bought something we didn’t want, didn’t expect, didn’t fit, didn’t spark joy — whatever. It happens. Let’s be grown-ups and just call it what it is.
AND sometimes packages get lost.
USPS, UPS, and FedEx are outdoing themselves this time of year. Things are going to get delayed, mis-scanned, rerouted, or dropped off at the neighbor’s house while the carrier prays for five minutes of peace.
But again — let’s call it what it is: a lost package.
Now… enter the chaos gremlins.
The blamers.
The haters.
The liars.
The folks who — quite frankly — should not walk this earth unsupervised.
In the last few weeks, we’ve dealt with every flavor of nuts-o you can imagine. And we’re not alone. Every retailer, big or small, online or in-store, is dealing with it.
And buyers everywhere swear, “Oh, I never act that way.”
Really? Never?
I bet you have — even just a little — and didn’t notice.
Remember: We sell vintage.
And here’s where the fun begins…
THE LIE
Customer: “You said this was brand new and perfect.”
Us: Nope. No we did not. Not once. Not anywhere.
We said things like:
✔ Used
✔ No batteries
✔ Might be missing a part
✔ Works but shows wear
✔ Paint is faded
✔ Needs a little love
✔ “It’s from 1962, please lower your expectations accordingly”
But you didn’t read it.
Then you blamed us.
Then you claimed we changed our listing (we didn’t).
Just admit you made a mistake. We all do it.
And guess what? We accept returns — no questions asked.
There is never a reason to lie, yell, stomp, scream, or act like a toddler denied a juice box.
THE LOST PACKAGE
Customer:
“I know you never shipped this. Are you scamming me? My mailman NEVER loses my packages. I know it says delivered, but it wasn’t. Refund me now.”
Us:
If it shows delivered, then it was delivered.
You will need to contact your carrier because they can look up the GPS scan location.
Every carrier uses GPS — it’s in their scanners, their route systems, UPS, Fed-Ex, USPS (Yes they do, I swear), Google, Amazon, probably NASA at this point.
But they won’t come find your package telepathically.
You actually have to ask.
THE “WHY DOESN’T THIS WORK LIKE WALMART?” CUSTOMER
Customer:
“I can’t get this to work. Why doesn’t it function like the one I bought at Walmart yesterday? Why is it faded? Why does the latch feel different? Why isn’t it perfect?”
Us:
Because.
It’s.
VINTAGE.
Things were made differently.
They look different.
They age differently.
They operate differently.
They were not engineered for TikTok tutorials or modern expectations.
We describe the era.
We describe the quirks.
We describe every wobble, fade, scratch, stick, squeak, and oddity.
We are absolute masters of information.
But no amount of text can prepare us for:
❓ “Why is the color different in different lighting?”
❓ “How does this 1935 camera work? Please explain in detail.”
❓ “Why does this old metal latch not snap like new plastic?”
Because it’s VINTAGE.
It lived a whole life before you even thought about buying it.
That's the charm — not a defect.
If you want brand-new perfection… you know where Walmart is.
And Finally…
There are so many more issues we deal with daily — especially during the holidays.
So please, for the love of small business sanity:
📌 Have mercy on your sellers.
📌 Have patience with your carriers.
📌 And please, please read the description.
We’re working hard.
We’re shipping fast.
We’re doing our best.
And we promise — we’re not out here trying to scam anyone.
We’re just trying to survive the season with our holiday spirit (and our coffee supply) still intact.
If you love vintage, small business stories, or just want a peek into the reseller madness — stick around!
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